I was introduced to sex at six years old. Molested until the age of 13, sexual invasion was a norm for me. Sprinkle in physical and emotional abuse, I represent the recipe for a lost child. But when I turned seven years old, a salesman knocked on my door and sold my mother a Bible for $2.00. She gave me the bible which had words in red. I could not watch television so most of my time was spent reading. Inside of a room is where I spent most of my time reading the red words in that Bible. At first, it didn’t make sense but what else did I have to do? Then the stories became interesting and unrealistic, I must admit. I was living with an enemy in my own house and this book was telling me to love my enemy. But then, the red words told me to do good to please God and it showed me how I should pray. That’s when God became my imaginary friend and I started to attend church with a neighbor. It was funny because church was the only place I was really permitted to go. It was a Pentecostal Church and the singing, dancing and shouting made me feel good. They believed in talking to God too.

I was praying that God would destroy my enemy but nothing happened. I prayed faithfully and kept reading my Bible trying to find comfort in the fact that ONE DAY, God was going to “get” my enemy. I had hope, faith and I believed that eventually my enemy would be destroyed. Yes, I was still suffering but something inside of me said to keep going, keep pressing, don’t lose hope. Something inside of me convinced me that I would not suffer always. So I prayed, and I read, and I worked hard in school knowing that the moment I turned of age, I would leave my horrible existence and be blessed for the remainder of my life.

What began as something kids do (creating an imaginary friend), I found myself distressed when I did not talk to God-I shared every detail of my day with Him as if we were chatting on the phone. Things changed when I graduated from the 8th grade and life got better. Of course I had some challenges but nothing compared to those 7 years of extreme hardship. I found myself spending less time with God as things progressed in my life, but I always maintained a relationship. When I hit the pinnacle of success in my life, I realized I owed my sanity to God. I was 30 years old married with 2 children, wonderful career and a hefty salary. It was at that moment, I realized HE was my best friend-the first one I wanted to share my day with and the last one I wanted to talk to before going to sleep. Then 9/11 happened and my life was turned completely upside down.

After 9/11, my life was in a complete spiral downward. However, people did not know what hardships I endured because I took my issues to the Lord, just as I did as a little girl. You see, the biggest lesson I learned as a child was not that I would not endure tribulation or hardship, but that I was not alone in my suffering. I knew God was with me because if He wasn’t there, I would not be here. So when major hardship knocked on my door again, I had experience and history with God. If He kept me before, He would keep me again. There were times that I thought God had forgotten about me, but then I went back to the red words. Those red words comforted me. Those red words encouraged me. Those red words gave me hope that things HAD to get better. Those red words helped me maintain my sanity. So, I serve the Lord because those red words have been my lifeline. They have eased my pains in my greatest moments of weakness and they have given me the strength day to day.

I serve the Lord because I believe in those red words-they have life and they are TRUTH.

However, the church is the best institution to help someone overcome trauma and stress. While we have fallen short in the aftermath of 9/11, we have a second opportunity to show the greatness of God. President Obama announced that the war is Iraq will come to a final curtain call by December 31st, 2011 with the withdrawal of the remaining 41,000+ troops still stationed overseas. Our soldiers will come home with the memories of what they experienced etched in their brains. They will have PTSD, physical ailments and they will be financially vulnerable. The church may not be positioned to handle the physical or financial vulnerabilities but we have the ability to to assist them with dealing with PTSD.

This is our moment. This is our opportunity to show them the greatness of our God. Yes, I still have nightmares, and I still stay awake at night with little or no sleep. But through my dependency upon God and learning coping skills, I have fared better than most. Immediately following 9/11, the church didn’t handle the overload of people who ran to God searching for an answer. Let us not make the same mistake. It is our responsibility to point people to God who will provide us rest for our souls. It is only through Him can a person find peace and acceptance. It is because He assures His children they need not suffer alone, that they can face the worst experience and still survive. People cannot walk that walk alone. They need someone willing to take their hands and walk that dark, lonely road side by side. This is the mandate of the Church. The church has a mandate and the resources from God to honor this assignment. The Spirit of the Lord is upon us for He has anointed us to heal the brokenhearted…

It’s been nearly ten years since that ill-fated day and I, along with millions of other people, am still feeling the after effects. Although some days and years are more challenging than others, I still experience erratic mood swings, fear, uneasiness and depression. Never truly certain of my emotional steadiness, I ebb and flow between moments of happiness and joy to severe bouts of anger, bitterness and hopelessness. My greatest wonder is, Will my life ever be the same?

Before 9-11, I enjoyed a successful career in the securities industry. I was a certified financial planner in a major securities firm as a partner in a group. I was young, full of life and on the heels of branching out on my own. Without question, I was truly ready to soar. However, today in my heart I feel that opportunity was interrupted by 9-11.

Life after has been extremely trying for me, to say the least. The aftershocks continued through the following years until it came to a head in 2007, when I found myself in complete and utter upheaval. I was struggling on my job and trying to find balance between ministry and business. I never thought that would be an issue. At that point, I’d transferred firms two times and was facing the possibility of a third transfer. Around every corner there seemed to be some adversity or test I had to overcome; and the challenges intensified with each passing day.

It seemed as though just when I thought I was settled and finally ready to rebuild, there was always another mountain to climb. That’s when I realized that I was dealing with more than the everyday struggles of life. I was dealing with trauma. Then I wondered how many other 9-11 survivors were facing the same struggles as I was? Had they recovered from them? Had they been successful in picking up the pieces of their lives and finding a sense of normalcy? I know I hadn’t!

As a writer, I found some solace in writing. Still, I couldn’t rest, knowing that there were other people out there facing the same struggles. I wanted to know how many people were tattered, hurt, and struggling to rebuild. That’s when I decided that I would no longer wonder, but instead search for other individuals who were directly affected by the tragedy of 9-11. I wanted to know what journey they’d traveled to find peace; or if peace was found at all.

As a survivor of this calamity, I have noticed that very little attention has been given to the actual living survivors. So much rightly placed honor has been given to the lost heroes; but what about us who remain?

What about the people who relive the memories of those events daily. Those of us who, almost a decade later, are living our everyday lives reaching for a sense of normalcy we may never obtain?

In my pain, I reached out for the familiar support of others who could relate. I’d hoped to find people who would be honest enough to share their true feelings about that earth-shattering event. At first, I wasn’t even sure if any other survivors would be candid enough to share the fact that they, like me, were secretly angry that no one seemed to care about their lives being forever altered. But deep inside, I knew I wasn’t the only survivor who felt discarded, forgotten, thrown away, and at times resentful because of the pain I’d endured. There had to be others who, marred with feelings of hopelessness, carried the guilt of actually surviving. Did they, like me, have moments where they wished they’d died because life after was more like a cruel imprisonment than a real life?

Did they feel like committing suicide? Were they still haunted by nightmares of people jumping off buildings? Was anxiety and stress dictating their lives? And finally, were they mad at God about what happened, or did they grow closer to the Lord as result of what they suffered? I wondered!
The answers to these burning questions and more lay ahead. Nestled in the pages of this book is our story; one I am sure will resonate with people from all walks of life, but especially to the survivors. I know your pain. I too have tried to erase the memories of that day. I’ve tried to block it out like it never even happened. But with each passing day the memories seem to replay with such force that I can almost feel myself right back at Ground Zero inhaling the smog and fumes while being tormented by sounds too heinous to ever forget.

Why me? Why us? And where do we go from here?

Only God knows where we will go, but as we focus on the day-to-day task of rebuilding, we must strive for a level of transparency that generates and demands healing. I am grateful to be alive. Although I didn’t always feel that sense of gratitude, as I travel toward my healing, I realize that my emotions are valid at every stage in the process; and so are other people’s feelings.

As we reflect on the past, I’ve attempted to bring together different perspectives of one experience that changed the lives of millions. Sit back and allow me to take you through this journey. I caution you that this book has a lot of information and stories that are both hard to share and bear, but if you’ll remain with me, you’ll see why this project is long overdue.
Here’s to the survivors!

What if you were the event promoter who spent thousands of dollars to create a conference, concert or revival? You did everything by the book but your numbers fell significantly short and you failed? You knew this is what you were born to do, you felt the release to move forward and now you’re in a compromising position both financially and emotionally.

The true definition of failure is the condition or fact of not achieving the desired end or ends. This does not have a permanent conclusion, nor does failure imply you aren’t destined to work in that field or business. What is most challenging for individuals who experience things not going the way they anticipate is the feeling of defeat.

This feeling prohibits the entrepreneur from evaluating the failed attempt objectively. Valuable lessons can be learned from failure. A willingness to dissect the course of events will give the individual the opportunity to determine what could have been done differently, if their team was the strongest possible, and what was the greatest success of the endeavor.

It is important to note that a financial failure in business does not mean you are in the wrong business. It simply means you failed to meet your financial objectives. In this challenging decade recently experienced, many individuals have identified business and ministry opportunities that they flourish in most effectively mentally and through works. However, because they have not been capable of reconciling the financial dialogue, they have decided perhaps their dream is not what God intended for them.

Do not misinterpret the failure. Look beyond the finances before making such an important decision to leave a business or ministry. For example, how do you feel when you are working in that field? Do you have an opportunity to touch the heart of the people you interact with? Do you have peace while working? Most importantly, if money were not an issue, would you continue operating the business or ministry?

In reality, both ministry and business endeavors are extremely difficult and they take significant time and commitment. You may find that you have to continue to adjust your strategies, absorb the successes and failures in the business and continually educate yourself to become an expert in your field or ministry. But that does not mean give up. Keep pressing, keep moving forward and keep learning from failed attempts in your life.

What will it take for people who walked away from the buildings but lost their lives to receive compassion and empathy? It was announced that this year, there is only room for victim’s families to attend the annual anniversary ceremony. I take issue with that statement because not only am I a victim, I have been continually victimized for the last ten years. Survivors have been ignored. We have suffered mentally, physically and economically. We have had to relive the horrible experience daily for ten years while significant attention has been given to the deceased victim’s families and first responders.

What about me? What about my family? After ten years of suffering in silence, I truly thought attention would finally be given to people like me. With the passing of the Zadroga Act which provides help for us emotionally and financially, if qualified, the capture and death of Osama Bin Laden and the opening of the 9/11 Memorial site. But I should have known I was being too optimistic.

As a World Trade Center survivor, I have had a feeling that our country has had almost a decade of misplaced priorities. A war on terrorism with countries that did not bring so much pain to me, a crippled economy which still devastates so many families today and people, just like me, who have been all but forgotten in the fray. Ten years is a long time to be dead emotionally.

This is my public appeal. Please do not tell me that my life doesn’t matter. Please do not ignore the fact that I have been victimized and I suffer to this day in vain. Please let me know that America cares about me. I am the survivor. I was in the building and I had to run for my life. I still have nightmares, flashbacks, anxiety and depression. Most importantly, I am one of thousands. September 11, 2001 affected us all but please don’t penalize me because I can still breath or I didn’t run into a building but ran out for my safety. After ten years of suffering in silence, I simply want my life back!

Nicole B. Simpson represents the survivors- the individuals who were in the buildings on 9/11/01, those who walked away emotionally devastated, scarred for life, and have struggled to pick up the pieces to move forward. She has recently released a book titled 9/11/01 A Long Road Toward Recovery. She puts a face to the national tragedy. For further information on Nicole B. Simpson and to inquire about media opportunities, please contact Harvest Wealth Media Group at 732-377-2024 or Nicole@nicolebsimpson.com. You can also visit www.nicolebsimpson.com.

Establishing a financial net worth requires the same dedication and commitment one would display when creating a garden. A person must devise a plan to ensure they receive maximum results financially. After developing the plan, or cultivating the soil, the initial investment must be made that will help an individual achieve their stated goals and/or objectives. But one cannot stop at the initial investment. Establishing a net worth requires attention. One may be required to add more money, make slight adjustments, or systematically rebalance or reallocate what is already invested.

But what is most essential between a garden and investments is they both require time to blossom. One cannot plant a seed today and expect a full, vibrant garden tomorrow. If you interrupt the process by agitating the seed sown, it cannot properly develop and produce the desired result. It is critical that while the seed requires attention, its primary need is time to bloom.

Building a net worth requires the same time and attention. Any investments made, whether in business, in the stock market or even real estate, require time to bloom. There may be occasions where the investment needs attention, but that does not negate the fact that over time your investment has the opportunity to grow.

So as you watch the flowers blossom all around you in anticipation of the summer time, remember the cold weather when nothing grew. Your investment will always experience periods in which there is little, no or even negative activity. But then comes the April showers. Most businesses will make adjustments over time to work towards profitability for their future. These seeds of promise are like the April showers. And with April showers, come May flowers! Paying attention to your investments and getting the proper advice and guidance will have you achieve your financial goals over time.

So don’t fret, what you sow, you will also reap. Begin working on your financial garden today and watch it grow and blossom over time into exactly what you desired. I love it when a plan comes together!!!

What are the real questions that need to be answered anyway?  Is he really dead?  Where is the proof?  Was Osama Bin Laden armed?  Could America have taken him in alive?  Although Al Qaeda has confirmed their spiritual leader is indeed gone, people still have questions.  In reality, does it really matter?  Osama Bin Laden declared war on America and if given the chance, would do it all over again.  The evidence lies with the plans that he was in the midst of implementing a strategy to attack our rail systems on the ten year anniversary of 09/11.  One must understand that when war is declared, there are no rules.

What matters most to the survivors is the opportunity to heal from the uncertainty we have endured for such a long time.  The challenges we faced as people dissected every aspect of terrorism were overwhelming at best.  The stories about the conspiracies and innuendos that America brought this pain on themselves were difficult to handle. 

You see, our experience was real.  Our emotions are frayed and our lives were forever altered.  We have seen images of death that can never be erased.   Many survivors lost their jobs, lost their homes and most importantly, lost their income.

I represent the survivors!  Who I was on September 10, 2001 and who I am today are two totally different people.  I once thought I am a shell of my former self.  However, over time, I recognize that I have grown, I have evolved and I have the opportunity to soar.  I recognize that I am much stronger than I gave myself credit for.

But even with that epiphany, please be sensitive to our thoughts and emotions.  It doesn’t matter what has transpired in the last few days that led to the capture and death of Osama Bin Laden.  What matters the most is that in his death, we can live!

Nicole B Simpson is a World Trade Center survivor who worked on the 73rd floor of Two World Trade Center. Her book Planning for A Reason, A Season and A Lifetime outlines her experience of that fateful day. On May 13, 2011, she is releasing her 4th book 9/11/01 A Long Road Toward Recovery. For further information on Nicole B. Simpson, review her website www.nicolebsimpson.com .

Does his death represent the closing a chapter of devastation and emotional trauma we have suffered year after year remembering the singular most deadly attack of America? Can we begin to heal and move forward in our lives?

As a World Trade Center survivor, I have had a feeling that our country has had almost a decade of misplaced priorities. A war on terrorism with countries that did not bring so much pain to me, a crippled economy which still devastates so many families today and people, just like me, who have been all but forgotten in the fray.

What’s next? Perhaps now we can heal. Maybe we can begin to focus on making this country great again. Or if I should be so fortunate, the survivors can now get some peace knowing that the pain we suffer from day to day was indeed not in vain.

In Osama Bin Laden’s death, it is my prayer that survivors of that fateful day, can live again. Ten years is long enough to be dead emotionally.

Nicole B Simpson is a World Trade Center survivor who worked on the 73rd floor of Two World Trade Center. Her book Planning for A Reason, A Season and A Lifetime outlines her experience of that fateful day. On May 13, 2011, she is releasing her 4th book 9/11/01 A Long Road Toward Recovery. For further information on Nicole B. Simpson, review her website www.nicolebsimpson.com .