God Repented!

As I sat in Bible study this evening to hear my pastor address the importance of obedience, my spirit screamed as 1 Samuel 15:11a was read.  God said, “I repent that I have made Saul king” or “I greatly regret that I have made Saul king” or “I am grieved that I have made Saul king”.  The fact that God repented or regretted a decision He made disturbed me greatly.  I am a leader, one anointed in a specific ministry mandate and called for such a time as this.  I am confident in the fact that I know I have been called.  I look at Saul who took for granted the anointing God placed on his life.  After all, we have a habit of tying scriptures together to conveniently operate as we see fit which may not always line up with obedience to the will of God.

Saul had been given many opportunities to change his behavior and line up with the will of God but he continued to justify his actions with a presumption that the anointing exonerated him from doing the will of God.  After all, how many of us confidently state, “I am God’s anointed?”  But because we have been chosen by God at one point in our lives does not mean He doesn’t have the ability to change His mind.  This thought has made me stand up and take inventory of my life and the life of leaders within my circle of influence.

God anointed us because of our obedience and our desire to serve Him.  I remember that heartfelt prayer that made me say whatever God wanted me to do, I would and wherever He wanted me to go, I would.  I can recall the long hours of prayer and communion with God, consulting with Him about everything I did.  I know what it feels like to say, “Lord, I’m ready, expand my tent.”  I also know every time I get ahead of God or fall behind Him.  I know when I grieve the Holy Spirit and I know when I don’t want to hear what the Spirit of God is saying.  Are we taking advantage of God’s grace?

More often than not, I am obedient but I’d be the first to say I am not ALWAYS obedient to the will of God. Yes, I am David in personality-I am always honest with God in my mess and in my dependency upon Him.  But I could never, ever imagine God changing His mind about why He created me.  This thought has led me to repent.  Yes, I’ve repented before God repents about me.  But I ask you as leaders, as children of God, as individuals who say they love the Lord-if you looked at your obedience to God, are you in a place where God might regret that He created you for purpose?  Don’t give God a reason to change His mind about creating you for a specific plan.

From Class to Class-Moving Up Economically

                 In these challenging economic times, it seems that all attention has been given to people who have been blessed to make it to the middle class. Policies are being enacted to preserve the standard of living for millions of Americans.  But what about the individuals who are just above broke working 10-16 hours a day and still falling significantly short in maintaining a minimal standard of living?  According to the Census Bureau’s most recent reporting, approximately 46.2 million individuals are currently living below the official poverty level of $22,350 for a family of four. Where does the hope lie for that family?  What can they do to move upward and into the middle class?

                The answer of how to create a financial plan for someone barely making ends meet is not easy but it is possible.  The solution is wrapped up in a person’s willingness to press beyond the long hours to complete personal goals that will help them accomplish their heart’s desires, increase their income and ultimately their standard of living.  What does that mean? When an individual can identify their natural talent and gift, they can begin the long journey of putting their gift into action or working their talent.  Working in a field they enjoy will encourage them to pursue their dreams even when they are beyond exhausted because they can see the reward in the future.  But if they never buy into the possibility that life can be different, then they will be destined to live a life of mediocrity and barely making ends meet.  They will ultimately fall so short that dependency on outside resources will be inevitable.

                But the other problem is lack of financial integrity.  The mindset of most individuals is to enjoy life in the now.  The rainy day funds are obsolete and foreign to Americans today.  Long gone are the days where people spent less than what they earned, socked money away in drawers, saved coins at the end of the day and put money in the safe.  They have been replaced with tired moms who prefer to get fast food for the kids at least once a week instead of cooking a meal after working a 16 hour shift.  Instead of saving to invest in one’s future, money is spent on discretionary items that will calm someone’s nerves, make them feel better emotionally or temporary euphoria.  From cigarettes and liquor to miracle offerings instead of paying tithes, people are looking for temporary fixes or solutions. 

Financial integrity will have an individual become a good steward over what limited resources they have.  It will make a mom take an extra hour to match coupons against the store with the greatest discount, bring lunch to work to save, carpool with someone to reduce expenses and stretch to save wherever possible because they have a goal that is greater than their desire for a short term fix to a long term problem. 

An individual who is in poverty now but committed to pursuing a better life will have the greatest opportunity to succeed when they combine their passion and talent with financial integrity.  If they stay committed to the plan that will lead to increased income, there will come a moment when saving for tomorrow becomes a reality.  

The Average Church Needs to be Silent About Government Interference

I have been consistent in my fundamental belief that when a church establishes a 501 c 3, they have given up the right to honor the Word of God. To understand this position, one must explore the significance of the tax exempt status. A not for profit organization must abide by the rules of the IRS publication 557 which is the “Tax Exempt Status for your Organization”. Under these rules, the government technically is your silent partner and you simply have creative control; until you break the rules.

The reason why many churches form the church in this manner is to extend to their congregation the tax exempt status for contributions the members give that truly help the church to exist. But in reality, the status is for you as the organization because tithes, gifts and donations to non-profit tax exempt organizations can still be tax deductible on the giver’s taxes as a charitable donation tax deduction. So that justification is based on mis perception. In reality, if the government ever decided to challenge the church for illegal formation, the law is decidedly on the side of the government.

But let’s explore this practically. When God gave you the calling to establish a church, did He tell you to depend on Him or on the government? Did His conditions for tithing include providing the faith community a tax break? So why would you compromise the Word of God by connecting your establishment to a belief system that is contrary to the what you stand for?

You can’t have it both ways. The intended purpose of separation of church and state technically protects the church. However, when the church decides they need support from the government, then they cannot be upset when the government mandates that the church honors the rules of that government. You have a choice-you can always choose not to get into bed with someone who does not share your principled beliefs.

As a woman who has learned to depend on God to be the Source of ministry, I am also a certified financial planner who believes in financial integrity and educating people on how to become financial stewards. Christians, in particular, when taught how to honor the Word of God, will give more and serve more economically! But most importantly, they will not give simply for the tax break at the end of the year!

Character on Trial

As we watched as a nation, the home-going celebration of our beloved songstress Whitney Houston, the world was able to hear wonderful stories about how Whitney lived life.  It made me think about the significance of a funeral overall.  Placed in its proper context, it truly is a person’s character on trial, their final review.  If the church is packed then one could presume the deceased had a profound impact on family and friends.  Should there be minimal fanfare, perhaps the person was non-existent, not very well liked or outright hated.  But at the end of the day, what others thought of the deceased was finalized.

But what about you and me?  We are still living, we are still breathing and we are still engaging within society?  Are we satisfied with how we are impacting our family and friends?  If someone was given the opportunity to eulogize you while you’re still alive, are you concerned about what they would say?

The definition of character is the mental and moral qualities distinctive to an individual.  You have total control over what others say because they draw their conclusions about your character based on what you display.  If you read the story of Hannah in 1 Samuel chapter 1, she was bitter and angry for being ridiculed and incapable of having a baby.  Those around her experienced her bitterness and anger firsthand.  While her husband Elkanah attempted to console Hannah it was to no avail.  Everyone felt her bitterness based on her actions.  But one day, Hannah was sick and tired of being sick and tired so she decided to leave it all at the alter-the Lord encourages us to cast all of our cares upon Him and he will provide us with rest.  Hannah had a character adjustment after she recognized that the only way she was going to change, the only way she was going to get through her tribulation, the only way she would find hope would be through the grace and mercy of God.

It is the same with us.  It doesn’t matter if people think you’re mean, nasty, bitter or simply not friendly.  If you desire to be different, if you desire to impact someone’s life in a positive manner, you can petition before God for a character adjustment.  It’s not too late-your jury has not been picked yet.  You still have time to show people that greatness has always been in you.  You still have a chance to love your neighbors as you love yourself.  You can still be the walking Word, the representative of Christ, a true ambassador.  God has need of you but you must recognize that whatever fundamental flaws you possess, you can have a character adjustment.  Take it to the alter and leave it there.  There will be a time in which your character is on trial-the last statement of who you were as an individual.  What will people say about you?

Character on Trial

As we watched as a nation, the home-going celebration of our beloved songstress Whitney Houston, the world was able to hear wonderful stories about how Whitney lived life.  It made me think about the significance of a funeral overall.  Placed in its proper context, it truly is a person’s character on trial, their final review.  If the church is packed then one could presume the deceased had a profound impact on family and friends.  Should there be minimal fanfare, perhaps the person was non-existent, not very well liked or outright hated.  But at the end of the day, what others thought of the deceased was finalized.

But what about you and me?  We are still living, we are still breathing and we are still engaging within society?  Are we satisfied with how we are impacting our family and friends?  If someone was given the opportunity to eulogize you while you’re still alive, are you concerned about what they would say?

The definition of character is the mental and moral qualities distinctive to an individual.  You have total control over what others say because they draw their conclusions about your character based on what you display.  If you read the story of Hannah in 1 Samuel chapter 1, she was bitter and angry for being ridiculed and incapable of having a baby.  Those around her experienced her bitterness and anger firsthand.  While her husband Elkanah attempted to console Hannah it was to no avail.  Everyone felt her bitterness based on her actions.  But one day, Hannah was sick and tired of being sick and tired so she decided to leave it all at the alter-the Lord encourages us to cast all of our cares upon Him and he will provide us with rest.  Hannah had a character adjustment after she recognized that the only way she was going to change, the only way she was going to get through her tribulation, the only way she would find hope would be through the grace and mercy of God.

It is the same with us.  It doesn’t matter if people think you’re mean, nasty, bitter or simply not friendly.  If you desire to be different, if you desire to impact someone’s life in a positive manner, you can petition before God for a character adjustment.  It’s not too late-your jury has not been picked yet.  You still have time to show people that greatness has always been in you.  You still have a chance to love your neighbors as you love yourself.  You can still be the walking Word, the representative of Christ, a true ambassador.  God has need of you but you must recognize that whatever fundamental flaws you possess, you can have a character adjustment.  Take it to the alter and leave it there.  There will be a time in which your character is on trial-the last statement of who you were as an individual.  What will people say about you?

My biograhy on Rev. Alfred Sharpton, Jr.

Reverend Alfred Sharpton is arguably the most notable African American preacher who sacrifices his life on behalf of racial injustice directly impacting the black community.  Biography.com cited, “Al Sharpton is an outspoken and sometimes controversial political activist in the fight against racial prejudice and injustice.”  He is the individual minorities turn to when faced with tragedy because his reputation amongst his community is one who will stand against prejudice even in the face of overwhelming obstacles.  Every since Alfred Sharpton, Jr. was a small child, he empathized with the plight of heinous conditions African Americans suffered daily and committed his life ministry and work to advocating equal rights for all. 

On October 3, 1954 in Brooklyn, NY, Alfred Charles Sharpton, Jr. was born to the parents Alfred Charles Sharpton, Sr. and Ada Richards Sharpton.  Raised in the church, it was immediately apparent that Sharpton was a peculiar child.  His family attended Washington Temple Church of God in Christ under the tutelage of his pastor Bishop Frederick Douglas Washington.  He would mimic the weekly sermons his pastor preached to his sister’s dolls at the tender age of 3, his first mentor.  However, it was clear to his family and church members on July 9, 1959 just how peculiar. While organizing the special anniversary service, the youth were asked how did they desire to participate.  He responded by stating he wanted to deliver the message and was granted permission to do so.  In the middle of a Sunday afternoon in front of approximately 900 people, Rev. Sharpton ministered from John 14 declaring to the attendees, Let not your heart be troubled, while standing on a box just so he would be visible.

            It was undeniable.  After what became his trial sermon, Sharpton preached once a month at Washington Temple. He patterned his behavior after Bishop Washington who allowed Sharpton to travel internationally and minister alongside him.  He read books that would educate and empower, although he never truly embraced formal education.  He was ordained as a Reverend at 10 years old, bringing life to what he put forth into the atmosphere since he began attending school.  He was chastised by school administrators for signing his name Rev. Al Sharpton since the 1st grade.  When he was reported by the teachers to his mother, he declared that he was merely living out his purpose. Sharpton admired Bishop Washington for being a man of theological substance and an example of character and grace in action.  In addition, the pastor included Sharpton in everything he did, helping to nurture Sharpton’s interest in crowds of people and his ability to think big.

            Reverend Sharpton initiated a life principle extremely early in life.  He recognized the significance of mentors.  The reverence and love he has displayed for Bishop Washington reflected so aptly not only the character of the young boy wonder, but has been paid forward with Sharpton mentoring many others in the manner in which he was nurtured.  The stability of Washington was essential because Sharpton’s life would be drastically altered at the tender age of 9 ½ when things were going seemingly well.  His father had an affair with his mother’s daughter from a previous marriage.  Out of that affair, a child was born and the family was permanently damaged forever.  In addition to the split, Sharpton’s dad attempted to stop his son from preaching, cutting off all potential monetary income sources.  While in court, the judge interviewed young Sharpton and ultimately forbade him to preach. Although he agreed to honor the mandate of the judge, Sharpton kept his weekly commitment at his local church, delivering the message on Friday evenings, as that was a part of his ministry mandate.  Two weeks later, during a return visit to the courthouse, the same judge asked young Sharpton did he preach to which he replied yes.  The judge then inquired if Sharpton understood he was forbidden to do so and questioned why did he disregard the orders? Sharpton responded, “I believe in what I am doing.” To this day, he lives by his Christian principles and the instruction of the Holy Spirit, even if his choices do not win popularity contests.

Another notable mentor who helped stretch the way of thinking for Sharpton was Adam Clayton Powell Jr. While he was most comfortable in the pulpit, he glimpsed at the autobiography of Powell, Jr. one day at the bookstore and was immediately intrigued.  This was his introduction into connecting politics and social ministry.  After reading the autobiography, Powell’s mentors became influential to Sharpton. He has been quoted saying, “It is so important whom you choose as your mentor; their heroes become your heroes, their ideological bent becomes of serious interest to you.”  His worldview had been stretched although not tested until the death of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

The death of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. did not have an immediate impact on Sharpton because he was not personally connected although they had met on numerous occasions.  However, a film was released that included a soundtrack with a song performed by Nina Simone.  The song posed a question that led him to feel guilty of not honoring the legacy of Dr. King.  That question guides his decisions even to this date.  “What are you gonna do now that the king of love is dead?”  This was a turning point for young Sharpton and the start of defining the character of the preacher man. “I learned the persona of the black preacher, who is part religious leader, part social leader, part social worker, part entertainer.”

While Reverend Sharpton began his social activism journey organizing a youth division for Operation Breadbasket in which he became the youth director in 1969, to attempt to outline his many contributions would be a disservice to him.  At this time, he was being mentored by Adam Clayton Powell, Jr. and Jesse Jackson, both politically and socially active.  He staged a few protests in high school.  However, there are some cases that warrant reference.  He battled with Robert Hall which was a clothing store that catered primarily to blacks.  However, they would not allow minorities to sit on the board or would not extend service contracts to them.  A boycott was initiated and it led to summer jobs for the urban youth, contracts and training programs in the urban community.  But his first notable win was against the injustice of the A&P food chain.  It was Sharpton’s boldness, his ability to organize, his connection to the urban community as a preacher and his willingness to fight that made individuals in trouble reach out to contact him when they needed media and political attention.  Then there was a moment, a moment in which Rev. Al Sharpton realized the world was larger than the church and he was curious to learn more about the world. 

Through the social activism Rev. Sharpton engaged in with Operation Breadbasket, he was introduced to James Brown after dropping out of college who offered to support a fundraising endeavor.  That relationship taught him about business.  Ministry is essential and helps a man learn how to communicate with others.  However, keeping your business affairs in order protect you over time.  Through the relationship with James Brown, Sharpton was exposed to more money than he had ever dealt with ever.  He also recognized he was not the most financially astute person and he had risked the security of his family too many times to count.  At the end of his autobiography, that was still a lesson he needed to learn.  His relationship with Brown introduced him to the world of music management and also the continual attacks from the federal government.  This period in Rev. Sharpton’s life was crucial because it solidified his advocacy work on behalf of the black community.  He branched out and established National Action Network which is vibrant today and continues to hold weekly rallies.  His influence was no longer simply limited to the church, but he fought for minority entertainers and others connected to the music industry.  His participation was to ensure black promoters were being including in promotional tours with top recording artists.

James Brown was so integral to the development of Sharpton and he filled a void left by the absent father.  When Brown’s own son died in a car accident, the relationship bonded even more.  It was James Brown who taught Sharpton how to present himself before the media and it was through that relationship Sharpton met his wife Kathy Jordan with whom he had two daughters; Dominique and Ashley.  The evidence of the importance of James Brown in the life of Rev. Sharpton is in his hair.  Brown took Sharpton to his hairdresser before meeting President Ronald Reagan and Sharpton has kept his hair in that style honoring his word to James Brown that he would not change it until the death of the legendary godfather of soul.  It represented the close, personal bond they shared.

This development of Rev. Sharpton speaks to his authority to address the major levels of misunderstandings that exist between blacks and whites.  It was the Bernhard Goetz case that sparked something deep on the inside of Rev. Sharpton.  Days before Christmas in 1984, Goetz open fired on 4 black teenage boys crying he was being mugged on the subway.  He was considered “the subway vigilante” who was praised for his retaliation.  It was later confirmed the boys did not have any weapons but the indignant nature of both Goetz and White America at the time made it dangerous to be black in New York.  It was time to stand for the racial injustice New York City endured at the hands of White America.  Someone had to protest and Sharpton was prepared for such a time.  While Goetz ultimately was acquitted of almost all of the charges relative to the shooting, he received jail time for carrying a concealed weapon.  Sharpton declared, “Anytime you justify vigilism you create an ongoing situation where it becomes very difficult to draw the line as to what is called for and what isn’t.”

Sharpton struggled with authorities and it culminated into a 70 count indictment of charges by the FBI which included an accusation that he was an informant who dished the goods on everyone from Don King to James Brown to the mafia.  It was during this trial, he realized his brashness was not always an asset.  He was ultimately cleared of all of the charges but he had arrived as an activist.  Sharpton was vilified by the media, by White America and by political officials in New York.  His position was clear-he stood for the rights of black people.  Sharpton did not believe the color of his skin diminished his value, nor should it diminish the value of his race.

The Howard Beach riots, the Tawana Brawley abduction and other protests led to the incident on January 12, 1991 where he was stabbed while leading a protest march in Bensonhurst, Brooklyn.  He was stabbed two inches from his heart and realized his life work could prove to be fatal.  The experience made him consider his legacy.  He began to evaluate the impact he would leave on society if he were to be killed while serving.  Prior to his stabbing, Sharpton had always operated on emotion, the move of the Holy Spirit and the request of assistance from people in need.  Afterwards, he devised a plan that has proven to be essential to the character of the man you see today.  In the past, people considered him to be loud, boisterous, vying for media attention, racist, you name it.  But through it all, he has always been consistent.

September 11, 2001 drastically affected America but the ripples of devastation was particularly felt in New York.  According to WTC survivor and advocate Nicole B. Simpson, the voice of black people affected was silenced.  Financial support was not made readily available and people suffered significantly.  Simpson communicated directly with Rev. Al Sharpton who not only provided an outlet for Simpson to voice her concerns, but he also spoke on behalf of the minority survivors who were in the building.  Through his media outlets Sharp Talk and Keeping it Real with Rev. Al, resource centers were made available to the public.  He posed questions to state officials on behalf of the survivors and he annually dedicates a show to people to express their outrage, their pain and their progress.

One cannot pinpoint when the perception of Rev. Sharpton began to change in the public’s eye.  Perhaps it was during the criminal trial where witness after witness of the prosecuting office spoke highly of Sharpton’s integrity making their case look like a witch hunt.  It could have occurred when the local politicians that have considered him a trouble maker in the past, call on him because they know he has a deeply ingrained relationship with the African American community.  The grassroots media channels may have contributed somewhat given his many appearances on television, radio and in print media.  Today he hosts his very own show on MSNBC, can still be heard on local radio and has a significant internet presence.  But minorities credit his consistency throughout the years to speak to the character of the man.  As he began in the church, a significant principle is that one who is led by the Holy Spirit, he operates the same way today.   

This is the message the life of Rev. Alfred Sharpton, Jr.  He is a preacher first and it’s in the pulpit where he is most comfortable.  He recognizes the value of mentorship and mentoring others.  But most importantly, he is a social activist who will fight to the bitter end for the rights of African Americans.  He may not determine where that fight will lead, but he is always willing to stand.  Sharpton has taken that fight to the world.  One thing is clear, and it is a running trump card in the African American community; “If you discriminate against me because I’m black, I will call Rev. Al Sharpton!”

Why I Serve the Lord

I realize the church is my life. I couldn’t imagine staying home on a Sunday morning because it is expected of me to enter into the house of God ready to praise and worship Him. But why? Why do I serve God? What has He done for me to warrant my time? It’s simple for me-I owe Him my worship because He is the reason I’m still sane.

I was introduced to sex at six years old. Molested until the age of 13, sexual invasion was a norm for me. Sprinkle in physical and emotional abuse, I represent the recipe for a lost child. But when I turned seven years old, a salesman knocked on my door and sold my mother a Bible for $2.00. She gave me the bible which had words in red. I could not watch television so most of my time was spent reading. Inside of a room is where I spent most of my time reading the red words in that Bible. At first, it didn’t make sense but what else did I have to do? Then the stories became interesting and unrealistic, I must admit. I was living with an enemy in my own house and this book was telling me to love my enemy. But then, the red words told me to do good to please God and it showed me how I should pray. That’s when God became my imaginary friend and I started to attend church with a neighbor. It was funny because church was the only place I was really permitted to go. It was a Pentecostal Church and the singing, dancing and shouting made me feel good. They believed in talking to God too.

I was praying that God would destroy my enemy but nothing happened. I prayed faithfully and kept reading my Bible trying to find comfort in the fact that ONE DAY, God was going to “get” my enemy. I had hope, faith and I believed that eventually my enemy would be destroyed. Yes, I was still suffering but something inside of me said to keep going, keep pressing, don’t lose hope. Something inside of me convinced me that I would not suffer always. So I prayed, and I read, and I worked hard in school knowing that the moment I turned of age, I would leave my horrible existence and be blessed for the remainder of my life.

What began as something kids do (creating an imaginary friend), I found myself distressed when I did not talk to God-I shared every detail of my day with Him as if we were chatting on the phone. Things changed when I graduated from the 8th grade and life got better. Of course I had some challenges but nothing compared to those 7 years of extreme hardship. I found myself spending less time with God as things progressed in my life, but I always maintained a relationship. When I hit the pinnacle of success in my life, I realized I owed my sanity to God. I was 30 years old married with 2 children, wonderful career and a hefty salary. It was at that moment, I realized HE was my best friend-the first one I wanted to share my day with and the last one I wanted to talk to before going to sleep. Then 9/11 happened and my life was turned completely upside down.

After 9/11, my life was in a complete spiral downward. However, people did not know what hardships I endured because I took my issues to the Lord, just as I did as a little girl. You see, the biggest lesson I learned as a child was not that I would not endure tribulation or hardship, but that I was not alone in my suffering. I knew God was with me because if He wasn’t there, I would not be here. So when major hardship knocked on my door again, I had experience and history with God. If He kept me before, He would keep me again. There were times that I thought God had forgotten about me, but then I went back to the red words. Those red words comforted me. Those red words encouraged me. Those red words gave me hope that things HAD to get better. Those red words helped me maintain my sanity. So, I serve the Lord because those red words have been my lifeline. They have eased my pains in my greatest moments of weakness and they have given me the strength day to day.

I serve the Lord because I believe in those red words-they have life and they are TRUTH.

Can the Church Handle Iraq Soldiers with PTSD?

I found myself being totally transparent regarding my issues being in leadership in ministry and depressed from the pulpit. Diagnosed with severe depression, post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and anxiety which resulted from my experience on 9/11/01, I thought it was essential to share that these emotions are real, and yes, present in the church. People close to me have asked me why do I reveal so much about myself and today I believe it’s important to share the reason why. Immediately following the tragedy of 9/11, the psychological community collectively decided to implement the use of the critical incident stress debriefing (CISD) method. Individuals who suffered were advised to join an immediate facilitator led therapy within 24 hours. During the session, we discussed major elements of what we endured and we expressed our emotions. It took me one session to realize this could not possibly be helpful and I looked for a spiritual explanation. Fast forward-I can attest years later, my struggles intensified reaching a boiling point in 2007. It was only by God’s grace that I’ve been capable of coping. As I observed my own struggles, I realized the church was not adequately equipped to deal with people who suffer with issues. Unfortunately, it is those same issues that draws us to Christ in the first place. It is our responsibility as the body of Christ to handle one another with more compassion and empathy but we are not qualified.

However, the church is the best institution to help someone overcome trauma and stress. While we have fallen short in the aftermath of 9/11, we have a second opportunity to show the greatness of God. President Obama announced that the war is Iraq will come to a final curtain call by December 31st, 2011 with the withdrawal of the remaining 41,000+ troops still stationed overseas. Our soldiers will come home with the memories of what they experienced etched in their brains. They will have PTSD, physical ailments and they will be financially vulnerable. The church may not be positioned to handle the physical or financial vulnerabilities but we have the ability to to assist them with dealing with PTSD.

This is our moment. This is our opportunity to show them the greatness of our God. Yes, I still have nightmares, and I still stay awake at night with little or no sleep. But through my dependency upon God and learning coping skills, I have fared better than most. Immediately following 9/11, the church didn’t handle the overload of people who ran to God searching for an answer. Let us not make the same mistake. It is our responsibility to point people to God who will provide us rest for our souls. It is only through Him can a person find peace and acceptance. It is because He assures His children they need not suffer alone, that they can face the worst experience and still survive. People cannot walk that walk alone. They need someone willing to take their hands and walk that dark, lonely road side by side. This is the mandate of the Church. The church has a mandate and the resources from God to honor this assignment. The Spirit of the Lord is upon us for He has anointed us to heal the brokenhearted…

09/11/01 A Long Road Toward Recovery Preview

I began formulating the concepts in this book at the end of 2007. At the time I wondered where would I be mentally, spiritually and emotionally on September 11, 2011—ten years after the tragic disaster of 9-11. I couldn’t help but wonder about the long-term effects of this tragedy that not only affected the entire world, but also had a permanent, devastating impact on my family and me.

It’s been nearly ten years since that ill-fated day and I, along with millions of other people, am still feeling the after effects. Although some days and years are more challenging than others, I still experience erratic mood swings, fear, uneasiness and depression. Never truly certain of my emotional steadiness, I ebb and flow between moments of happiness and joy to severe bouts of anger, bitterness and hopelessness. My greatest wonder is, Will my life ever be the same?

Before 9-11, I enjoyed a successful career in the securities industry. I was a certified financial planner in a major securities firm as a partner in a group. I was young, full of life and on the heels of branching out on my own. Without question, I was truly ready to soar. However, today in my heart I feel that opportunity was interrupted by 9-11.

Life after has been extremely trying for me, to say the least. The aftershocks continued through the following years until it came to a head in 2007, when I found myself in complete and utter upheaval. I was struggling on my job and trying to find balance between ministry and business. I never thought that would be an issue. At that point, I’d transferred firms two times and was facing the possibility of a third transfer. Around every corner there seemed to be some adversity or test I had to overcome; and the challenges intensified with each passing day.

It seemed as though just when I thought I was settled and finally ready to rebuild, there was always another mountain to climb. That’s when I realized that I was dealing with more than the everyday struggles of life. I was dealing with trauma. Then I wondered how many other 9-11 survivors were facing the same struggles as I was? Had they recovered from them? Had they been successful in picking up the pieces of their lives and finding a sense of normalcy? I know I hadn’t!

As a writer, I found some solace in writing. Still, I couldn’t rest, knowing that there were other people out there facing the same struggles. I wanted to know how many people were tattered, hurt, and struggling to rebuild. That’s when I decided that I would no longer wonder, but instead search for other individuals who were directly affected by the tragedy of 9-11. I wanted to know what journey they’d traveled to find peace; or if peace was found at all.

As a survivor of this calamity, I have noticed that very little attention has been given to the actual living survivors. So much rightly placed honor has been given to the lost heroes; but what about us who remain?

What about the people who relive the memories of those events daily. Those of us who, almost a decade later, are living our everyday lives reaching for a sense of normalcy we may never obtain?

In my pain, I reached out for the familiar support of others who could relate. I’d hoped to find people who would be honest enough to share their true feelings about that earth-shattering event. At first, I wasn’t even sure if any other survivors would be candid enough to share the fact that they, like me, were secretly angry that no one seemed to care about their lives being forever altered. But deep inside, I knew I wasn’t the only survivor who felt discarded, forgotten, thrown away, and at times resentful because of the pain I’d endured. There had to be others who, marred with feelings of hopelessness, carried the guilt of actually surviving. Did they, like me, have moments where they wished they’d died because life after was more like a cruel imprisonment than a real life?

Did they feel like committing suicide? Were they still haunted by nightmares of people jumping off buildings? Was anxiety and stress dictating their lives? And finally, were they mad at God about what happened, or did they grow closer to the Lord as result of what they suffered? I wondered!
The answers to these burning questions and more lay ahead. Nestled in the pages of this book is our story; one I am sure will resonate with people from all walks of life, but especially to the survivors. I know your pain. I too have tried to erase the memories of that day. I’ve tried to block it out like it never even happened. But with each passing day the memories seem to replay with such force that I can almost feel myself right back at Ground Zero inhaling the smog and fumes while being tormented by sounds too heinous to ever forget.

Why me? Why us? And where do we go from here?

Only God knows where we will go, but as we focus on the day-to-day task of rebuilding, we must strive for a level of transparency that generates and demands healing. I am grateful to be alive. Although I didn’t always feel that sense of gratitude, as I travel toward my healing, I realize that my emotions are valid at every stage in the process; and so are other people’s feelings.

As we reflect on the past, I’ve attempted to bring together different perspectives of one experience that changed the lives of millions. Sit back and allow me to take you through this journey. I caution you that this book has a lot of information and stories that are both hard to share and bear, but if you’ll remain with me, you’ll see why this project is long overdue.
Here’s to the survivors!

The Wrong Interpretation of Failure

Many artists, musicians and ministers of the gospel have attended an event with an expectation that the audience or attendees would be greater than who stands before them. In their minds, they may have accepted the invitation with the hope that they would be able to sell significant product, create new opportunities and bless those in attendance simultaneously.

What if you were the event promoter who spent thousands of dollars to create a conference, concert or revival? You did everything by the book but your numbers fell significantly short and you failed? You knew this is what you were born to do, you felt the release to move forward and now you’re in a compromising position both financially and emotionally.

The true definition of failure is the condition or fact of not achieving the desired end or ends. This does not have a permanent conclusion, nor does failure imply you aren’t destined to work in that field or business. What is most challenging for individuals who experience things not going the way they anticipate is the feeling of defeat.

This feeling prohibits the entrepreneur from evaluating the failed attempt objectively. Valuable lessons can be learned from failure. A willingness to dissect the course of events will give the individual the opportunity to determine what could have been done differently, if their team was the strongest possible, and what was the greatest success of the endeavor.

It is important to note that a financial failure in business does not mean you are in the wrong business. It simply means you failed to meet your financial objectives. In this challenging decade recently experienced, many individuals have identified business and ministry opportunities that they flourish in most effectively mentally and through works. However, because they have not been capable of reconciling the financial dialogue, they have decided perhaps their dream is not what God intended for them.

Do not misinterpret the failure. Look beyond the finances before making such an important decision to leave a business or ministry. For example, how do you feel when you are working in that field? Do you have an opportunity to touch the heart of the people you interact with? Do you have peace while working? Most importantly, if money were not an issue, would you continue operating the business or ministry?

In reality, both ministry and business endeavors are extremely difficult and they take significant time and commitment. You may find that you have to continue to adjust your strategies, absorb the successes and failures in the business and continually educate yourself to become an expert in your field or ministry. But that does not mean give up. Keep pressing, keep moving forward and keep learning from failed attempts in your life.

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 31 other followers